Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Great Expectations

My Dearest Darlings, despite your universal indifference and quite remarkable ineptitudes I inexplicably feel that it is my duty to enlighten your dour lives; my intention is to inspire and educate as you are so clearly ill equipped to function in the modern world. As an enigma and personification of glamour and sophistication I am naturally bestowed with an other worldly gift, one that I have spent years perfecting and honing to become the enchantment that you see before you, though in your abjection I fear that I must be careful not to inspire you beyond your humble resources.

Ubiquitous aspirational marketing and promotional material lubricate your now flailing economies with glossy advertisements and extravagant movies, these tools are populated with ‘perfect’ human beings that scrape away your crumbling self esteem and constantly dictate that you must succeed. You look to your peers; talentless, dumpy, plebeians and barely educated reprobates, despite their vast limitations a minority of even these examples of humanity have somehow managed to scale the ladder of success, they have the attributes and possessions you have been conditioned to crave. You then look to yourself; “if them, why not me?” And so begins the inevitable journey to envy, despair and total self-hatred.

This conditioning began when the quest for equality drove societies to end the suppression of the working classes, since these revolutions you have been told to have expectations. You have been challenged to make the most of yourself. You have been encouraged to self educate in order to fulfil your potential. At one time aspiration and achievement was the preserve of the privileged elite, they expected to easily gain the immense wealth and power that was handed to them on a silver platter. You, the majority had no expectations and were totally resigned to your lot, content in the knowledge that your short hard lives would soon end, your rewards would come in the next life; in Heaven. Now God is dead and ‘life is not a rehearsal’, this is your only chance to be the best you can be.

Since these new found rights and equalities, the eradication of the Victorian workhouse, the removal of the slums of yesteryear and countless other modern inventions that prevent illness and disease your life has been enchanted. Modern civilisation has arrived, you have never been richer almost all of you have luxuries beyond anything a child of the workhouse could have imagined. Cheap and affordable food, plentiful clothing and running hot water are within reach of the vast majority of you. Yet still you are left with an overwhelming malady, a restlessness, an unease, still you’re desperate for more, you want cars and houses and signifiers of success and you have the audacity to demand respect, admiration even worship from the world around you.

The problem is this; when once a person would know their place, their expectations were low, so disappointment was minimised, at one time great achievement would be feeding the family or raising a child to adulthood, now achievement is world domination in your chosen field, aspiration has no limit, you all foolishly believe that it is your right to have unlimited wealth and recognition, you secretly harbour imaginings of massive success, you dream of becoming a star or a business tycoon when you are probably just typically adequate. My advice for a long and contented life is to accept your obvious limitations with good grace as it is more than likely that your aspirations massively outweigh you’re aptitudes.

Much Love the Amazingly Humble Ms Coco LaVerne x