My Dearest Darlings, the global economic catastrophe is utterly perplexing and completely terrifying, you have absolutely no idea what to do for the best. It seems likely that you’re just moments away from transforming into marauding brutes stampeding the streets desperately emptying your bank accounts, hastily dragging sacks of cash back to your lairs to stuff under the nearest soiled and soggy mattress where you believe your money will be momentarily safe from imminent financial disaster.
The reason for this calamity you are told is that the banks have ceased to trust and as a result the markets are toppling toward financial cataclysm. Naturally you have faith that your institutions will guarantee to protect your nest egg and your markets believe that each bank or corporation will value the deals that have been struck on this stock exchange floor or that. Remarkably it seems that your global economy is built on faith; delicate, amorphous and impossible to quantify it is trust that underpins your global economic well-being.As your fabulous and phenomenal prophet I have the unique ability to see you as you truly are - nothing but babes, wretched absurdly needy infants fulfilling your weakness for instantaneous gratification. I do not blame you for spending the pennies, pounds and pence you were told you could afford to borrow. You are weak and have stupidly forgotten how to harness your innate ability for self control, and it is your society and culture that have taught you how to forget.
When you humbly put your trust in those you have faith in and they regrettably disappoint, your foundations are rocked. Like a cowering child punished too harshly for an accidental misdemeanour by a previously patient parent, you shrink within to seek explanation and forgiveness. Pleading for security to return you feel misplaced, rejected and alone. Your governments, your banks and your institutions have betrayed you. As if your trusted familial home has mysteriously disintegrated you no longer know where to seek refuge. You’re anxious for things to return to how they used to be, but everything is altered and all you feel is a profound sense of fear. My Poor Sweet Terrified Darlings; rabbits in headlights have nothing on you.
The governments act as one, the markets as the other like divorcing parents each camp apportions blame. Though perhaps most hurtful of all these warring factions blame you for playing the game they invented. You borrowed too much from them. You were too eager to climb a property ladder they built for you. You bought too much credit to buy the luxury gadgets and gizmos they told you, you needed.
Now play time is well and truly over. Those of you that have lived beyond your means are now paying the price. Though fear not, after a staggeringly difficult period of adjustment your banks will trust again and you will become reacquainted with stability though I suggest that you learn your lessons from this debacle. I suggest that you embrace frugality, allow common sense to drift back into your lives. If you can’t afford it then you don’t deserve it. If you really want it, then save, you’ll appreciate what ever meaningless trinket you inexplicably desire if you sacrifice the luxuries you have come to believe you deserve. Like a family that has lost its fortune you will struggle through this extended period of famine, though sadly my Darlings this is your lot.Much Love the Fabulous Ms Coco LaVerne x