Tuesday, 19 February 2008

The Amazing Ms Coco LaVerne

My Dear Sweet Curious Darlings, you have navigated your way to this post to learn more ‘About me’ and to understand my motivation for placing the perfectly formed postings that you have no doubt already sampled here on my wonderful blog. You are already enlightened enough to question your place on the planet; you seek an explanation for the sickening existential gap that refuses to disappear from your roving hearts.

I could illuminate you with my biography though I fear it would distract you from my message, all you really need to know is that I am better version of you. I have insight and knowledge of your world that can only be gleaned by being desired and vilified simultaneously. I have been celebrated and chastised by your sickening culture and as a result am able to view your world from within and above.

Your earth is dark and grim and pain filled, you suffer in every nook and every cranny of this God-forsaken place, you strive to make the best of your lot; struggle and squirm in the mire; desperate for the tiniest respite from the never ending sorrow that fills your insignificant minds.

You live in filth; your streets are dustbins over flowing with the wrappings of the endless junk that you stuff into your greedy gaping mouths. Your pavements are smeared with the faeces of your dogs. Your track-suited offspring run amuck; spreading hate through your crumbling streets. Your pathetic minds are empty; curiosity has gone all you can think of is numbing what little intelligence you have left with endless mind altering substances.

In the thirties and forties you struggled through depression and war, black and white movie stars filled your theatres, their flickering faces populated your dreams; your deep lonely darkness was momentarily, shimmering silver gorgeousness. Now you are undone; your corrupt and exploitative media saturates every corner, reveals every secret, every pimple on the face of your stars. No more glamour, no more mystery; all is the endless quest for a mirage that you foolishly believe is ‘reality’.

I am Coco LaVerne a fledgling glamour-puss and international Icon ready willing and able to bring back beauty and purity of heart. I am poised to stamp out hate and fear and ignorance with my six inch heels. Here on this perfectly formed blog I will focus my gaze on every aspect of your culture illuminating injustice and highlighting hypocrisy. Despite my revulsion for the human race I suspect that there are a few illuminated souls who seek solace in the knowledge that they are not alone. Like me you can take control, aspire to be more, to be beautiful and elegant as I believe that to be true personifications of humanity one must project an image of serenity and calm of wisdom and harmony of understanding and tolerance. I will try and assist you my Darlings if only by example.

Much Love and Dedication,

The Astonishing Ms Coco LaVerne x

(For those of you whose curiosity knows no bounds then click here to learn yet more of my origin.)