My Dearest, Dearest Darlings as your ‘British Summer’ draws to an inevitable close and again fails to deliver anything resembling the golden hue and barmy nights of yesteryear I have been struck by the inevitable fall out such meteorological disappointment delivers. The few of you that are able to take flight despite the economic climate and escape the depressing drizzle and milky skies, adopt the behaviour of unhinged sociopaths who have escaped the confines of the claustrophobic and suffocating institution that is the British United Kingdom of Isles.There are the few amongst you that maintain a restrained dignity whilst abroad you attempt to remain invisible, you select attire suitable to the culture in which you holiday and resist the tempting tidal waves of alcohol promised to you by unwise package holiday procurers.
Though sadly for
Your national exploits recently featured in the New York Times; internationally you are a laughing stock! Explanations and explorations of the ‘British Condition’ suggest a moral tale of social repression and limitation seeping out into an epidemic of extreme bestial behaviour. It seems that ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ sums up your collective national identity, part aloof ‘stiff upper lipped’ gentleman the other crazed drunken hedonist.
Some may blame the oppressively awful British weather I on the other hand blame you. Of course the few that lead by example roll your eyes in disgust, what else is there to do? Though I suggest that you have all lost the social thermometers that in generations gone by kept your social behaviour in check, gone are the matriarchal battle axes that chastised and reprimanded! Gone are the stoical patriarchs that led by example! I am not promoting the backward march to the dystopian family of the last century as it is these social conventions that led to immense unhappiness and repression hence the inevitable rejection and over turning of such limiting familial figures. Though along the way in your undeniable stupidity I fear you have lost something of their wisdom. You now want to befriend the child you bore rather than become a respected example to it!
Tragically the concept of ‘Family’ was bastardised by the Conservatives in the eighties, Thatcher reinforced the idea of ‘Family’ as Victorian construct allowing only a blinkered definition of its complexities and meanings thus society turned its back on this prescriptive notion. Her desperate attempt to return to a simpler time of course dramatically back fired as now you only understand family as a collection of peers, no roles, no leadership, nowhere to seek advice and support! you are all lost at generational sea! As a result the notion of ‘Family’ needs radical reinvention, a reinvention that both embraces your petty differences and simultaneously promotes respect and responsibility but not at the cost of individuality and mutual respect.
Other countries have in the main escaped this family crisis and as a result are still equipped to deal with the challenges of etiquette abroad, bolstered by the social structure that has remained intact for generations. Until your gluttonous clans are repaired foreign seaside resorts will remain sullied and smeared with the drunken vomit and excrement of the morally defunct British tourist.
Your only hope is to turn away from debauchery and embrace the grace you once were known for, somehow simultaneously you must manage to reject the repression that has been a component of your identity, temperance is they way forward, intelligent self control and balance should be embraced before permanent damage is done to your rapidly dwindling international reputation.
Love as always the elegant Ms Coco LaVerne.